Disappointed, displeased and feeling no value.
This post would deal on anger/temper/emotion management as I experienced today. that it may spare breaking a relationship and disappointing the One who really cares.
"Never expect from people". "When you give, never expect for something in return".
The latter, I thought was only on material things, so it wasn't a problem on my part. But to expect from someone other than the material things, is a different story. And today, I am convinced these two are on the same line.
I expect a lot from people whom I cared and that's my flaw. I put too much attachment to them to the point that I know they have my back, that they'll do the same thing. May be the golden rule isn't that universal. Or that when you do this to somebody, another somebody would do that to you. That it's not actually mutual. I am really hurt to learn today that the people whom I care so much do not care about me as much. It wasn't mutual. I cried for them. and there, I remembered that the people who you treasure will also give you much heartache. that's because you care for them, you love them.
And so in my anger, I said and thought of the wrong things not towards those people but with someone who felt the same. I was ahead of who I am. It was the 'me' before. and I realize how much I act out of my anger and my temper, nowadays. I dealt with this when I was still starting my personal relationship with God. When I was still starting to recognize who I am. It was hard but I triumphed thru Him. And now, I wasn't living the way I should be. Today's incident was a proof of that.
So, before I even started this post. I did the only right thing I know. and that's opening my Bible to remind me of who He is, who I am and how I should deal with this. I am sorry to be angry. I know I might be human, and not spared of this emotion but I am sure that in Him, I wouldn't get hurt as much, that I will receive grace and share it with people.
"For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks."
- Matthew 12:34
Whatever is stored in our hearts is revealed through our mouths and actions. If our hearts is filled with bad things, we tend to see all the bad things and say bad things. But if we are filled with love, kindness, peace and all the good things, be sure that this will show. Not only, you honor God but also people will start to think of who you are and why you live that way.Today, I am convicted.
and so, I pray,
"Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me"
- Psalm 51:10
and to have...
"...the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control."
- Galatians 5:22
"no matter how much i want to ignore you, be mad at you, shout at you. I can't. You are friends and I care much about you. I will never revenge because I value you so much. but today, I am disappointed"
This should have been my facebook status if I haven't been reminded. but instead, I changed it because I don't want to disappoint my God who never disappoints me. I want to honor him wherever, whenever. here it is now,
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become anger, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires."
- James 1:19-20